Are you waiting for the 'right time'?
“Success is stumbling from failure to failure with no loss of enthusiasm.” - Winston Churchill
Have you ever plugged away and worked at something like a maniac, thinking... "Just as soon as I get this finished, then I'll relax."
Or perhaps you're waiting for the right time to start.
Just as soon as I clear the inbox.
As soon as I get through the to-do list.
When I make the income level.
Lose the weight.
Get through the tough time.
Make it to the weekend.
Go on holidays.
Buy the car.
Buy the house.
Have better relationships.
The fact is, what I've learnt is that the to-do list is never going to be done. There's never going to be a time when there's zero stress or nothing to do. Weekends and holidays are not going to solve everything.
This push-pull concept of 'balance' between resting and doing is something that I've found challenging in my own life. I have a tendency to either keep going and going until I burn out in order to meet the intense demands of career, business and life; or I procrastinate and wait until the 'right' time to start something. (When I'm less busy etc).
If we get to the heart of why we push too hard and don't rest, or why we procrastinate and never start, there will be at least one deep-seated reason there. For me, it was always about perfectionism and people-pleasing. I couldn't stand to let others down or for others to think negatively about me. It's a lesson that I've had to learn many times over before completely understanding it and actually implementing the lesson into my own life by putting aside what others think of me in order to be true to my own values. I've found this to be true for a lot of my clients as well, and I've worked with them to overcome these people-pleasing tendencies to launch their side-hustles and develop boundaries for themselves around their time and energy.
Questions to ask yourself if you're waiting for the 'right time' to start, or if you're pushing yourself to burnout:
What is holding me back from getting started?
The first thing you may think of is 'lack of time' or 'too much happening' or 'not enough resources / finances'... These are all generally excuses for more deep-seated beliefs. (Often these are very valid excuses - don’t get me wrong! But there’s always a way around them if you want to enough).
For example, are you worrying what others think of you and/or worried about failure? This is the case for all of us to varying degrees - it’s simply whether or not you allow yourself to let it stop you! Remember these three things:
You will never please everyone, no matter how much you try
No one is going to achieve your goals and dreams for you, or to give you permission - YOU must be responsible for getting started
Failure is an essential part of doing anything worthwhile. It's time to get okay with it.
Why am I pushing myself so hard?
You may initially say... I can't rest because there's so much to do. Or there's so many expectations that need to be met. Again, these reasons are valid on the surface, but…
Dig deeper. Is it because again, you're worried you're going to let others down? Is it a feeling of not being worthy - e.g. not being good enough / smart enough / talented enough / too young / too old and so on? (We ALL have these thoughts). So you have to work harder and harder to prove to the world that you're [insert word] enough? That you're worthy? (I have done this so many times in the past!).
Remember, there's a choice: you set the rules in relation to how others treat you and what you are able to deliver. You set the boundaries for yourself. Then it's your choice whether you will accept it when people ask you to overstep your boundaries.
The bottom line is this.
If there’s something that is holding you back from getting starded, it’s unlikely to get easier with time. Get started NOW and you will find clarity when you start to get momentum. The right teachers, resources and lessons will come to you at the right time.
Additional reading and resources that I’ve personally read and LOVED in relation to these topics:
Stephen Pressfield - The War of Art
Brene Brown - The Call to Courage (watch the trailer here and you can catch it on Netflix)
Elizabeth Gilbert - Big Magic
Emma Isaacs - Winging It
Melissa Ambrosini - Mastering Your Mean Girl